Hamptons Diary: By Randall Hemming

Dear Hamptons Diary,

I call this entry “Retail Animal.”

For 11 years, I managed a luxury retail boutique on Main Street in East Hampton. One summer, we featured espadrilles made from python skins, which quickly became our most popular item in the collection.

One morning, a woman came in asking to try on a pair in lemon yellow. After I slipped them on her feet, she stood, took a few steps and exclaimed: “These are the most comfortable shoes I have ever worn. I’ll take them!”

At the register, she asked what kind of leather was used.

“Oh no, ma’am,” I replied. “In our creations, we only use exotic materials. Our espadrilles are python.”

She abruptly shouted: “Python? Python! Did you ever stop to think this python had a mother?”

Knowing the sale was now officially cancelled, I pointed to a python handbag on a nearby shelf and said:

“Well of course it had a mother. She’s right here.”

I never saw that customer again.

Randall Hemming

After 38 years in the luxury fashion industry as Managing Director for stores such as Armani, Versace, and Louis Vuitton, Randall has been working on his memoir of his retail experiences. He has also reignited his acting career with recent credits including '12 Angry Men' at the Suffolk Theatre and 'Vanya & Sonia & Masha & Spike' which opens October 10th at the Southampton Cultural Center. He was also featured in the premiere episode of a video series called ‘Who’s Your Neighbor’ at LTV Studios in Wainscott.