Angela in America: Beware The Overused Exclamation Mark (!)

Think before you punctuate!

The second I see a sentence punctuated with that vertical line with the period below it, my brain goes into a mini-fury and I tend to judge you. Harshly.

I’ve felt this way for decades, long before Donald Trump codified exclamation marks as his go-to badge of honor on Truth Social:

“MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!”
“SAD!”
“FIX!”
“ARREST THEM!”

Trump Didn’t Invent It — He Just Perfected It

He’s one of the worst offenders, but he’s hardly alone.

Ten Years at 30 Rock Will Do That to You

I guess my strong dislike and extreme distrust of the exclamation mark is partly due to my 10-plus years as a television producer at the TODAY show at 30 Rock. Yes, the infamous 30 Rock!

Everyone Wants Meredith — With Feeling!!!

The fact that I was the producer for the show’s co-anchor, Meredith Vieira, for those years seemed to fuel the exclamation exhale frenzy:

“Oh, Meredith would LOVE this segment!”
“You MUST tell Meredith to have me on the show!”
“Meredith is my IDOL! PLEASE give her my card!”

Who wouldn’t want to be on the country’s top-rated morning television program reaching millions of viewers? Even a minute of airtime on the TODAY show can change a career, make a book or CD go off the charts, or exponentially up your fan base and followers.

When Exclamation Marks Actually Pay Off

Yes, the constant asks! were offset by what I would call the “good exclamation marks”—the coveted celebrity assignments that made the late hours, early wake-up calls, weekend work, and overnight duty that are part of the gig worth it: Tina Fey! Jerry Seinfeld! Lady Gaga!

But the Will Ferrell! Ed Sheeran! and Aretha Franklin! moments (may Aretha r-e-s-p-e-c-t-fully rest in peace) were outnumbered by the 24-hour assault of mostly overwritten pitches by overly enthusiastic publicists desperate to get their clients on the air. My inbox groaned with the weight and volume of the three most popular catchphrases:

“An amazing and incredible story!”
“A fascinating guest who is an expert in the field!”
“A revolutionary new product that will change lives forever!”

Inbox Warfare: Ding and Delete

I’d gotten so good at anticipating the bad pitches and irritating copy that I would keep a “ding-and-delete” hit list; if I was writing a segment and one of those !!!! pitches popped up on my screen: Ding! I’d quickly delete it before it could even reach my inbox. I felt like a video gamer, gleefully identifying and destroying the enemy in midair. Shock and awe. Ding, you’re gone.

When the Exclamation Mark Is Earned

Sometimes the story pitch lived up to the exclamation mark.

“Joanna, whose walking was severely compromised due to the debilitating effects of her multiple sclerosis, just walked down the aisle at her own wedding and climbed Diamond Head Crater in Hawaii on her honeymoon, all because she has been using a new electronic device designed to help patients who suffer from ‘foot drop.’”

Yes! Tell me more! Send me some video!

A Crock Pot Is Not a Medical Breakthrough. Period.

But a pitch with—count ’em—27 exclamation marks on “The Joys of Crock Pot Cooking! with the Country’s Leading Crock Pot Expert!” Put a lid on it. It’s a Crock Pot, not a breakthrough in curing cancer or COVID.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not trying to diminish the inherent value of Crock Pot cooking. It has its place. There are millions of people in this country who don’t have the time to cook but who want to pretend that they can, and so they dump a bunch of meat and vegetables into a pot, plug it in, walk away for 10 hours, and hope for the best. But is the concept really exclamation-mark-worthy? Is it that exciting that Mommy managed to put dinner on the table without getting electrocuted? Maybe.

My point is not to bash the crock-pot cooks of the world (we did the segment anyway, but only after I insisted to the publicist that she and the chef stop using exclamation marks in our correspondence. Her reply was, “Okay! Okay! I mean, okay, okay.”).

But I think it’s time we take a hard look at how we, as a society, have come to overuse punctuation to the point where we are constantly yelling the equivalent of “Fire!” in a crowded movie house.

Let Words Stand on Their Own

What happened to the power and beauty of words to stand alone, fearless, like soldiers on the front line, their intention clear and strong, with no need to call in supplementary troops or be fortified by a flurry of trumpets?

Love Letters Don’t Need Trumpets

“Having you in my life has changed me forever, in ways I could only dream of and pray for. I love you, and believe in my heart of hearts that I always will.”

Would an “I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” have made it more real or true? I don’t believe so. Sure, we often revert to gushy !!!! when we are in love. I admit I’ve written my share of “I can’t live without you!”s, but how much more effective to resist the !!!!!!!!.

We learn this as we get older, that a relationship needs a bit of mystery to keep things alive, and that spilling our guts, in the end, often makes for a mushy mess. Better to parcel it out slowly. You may be hearing bells, but no need to bang someone on the head with a Crock Pot. There was a reason the Off-Broadway musical The Fantasticks ran for so long; the message about keeping love alive was clear: “You must always keep up the wall.” They didn’t call it The Fantastiks! with an exclamation mark. They couldn’t even bother to spell “fantastic” right. But no matter, because the point of the show was, and still is, valid: Less is more, folks.

Breakups Without the Hysteria

The same holds true for what you write after a breakup.

“I hate you. You lied to me, you cheated on me, and though you deny it, I need you to know that you hurt me deeply. I will never forgive you for betraying our trust and for crushing my heart. You’re right. It’s over.”

Clear? I think so. Impactful? Hopefully. My heart may be broken, I may be furious inside, I may even be vengeful, but the words get the point across. And guess what—no exclamation mark.

But what if I were to write it this way:

“I hate you! You lied to me! You cheated on me! It’s over!”

Well, I’ve lost the battle, along with my self-respect, descending into the implied hysteria and childishness that only the !!!! can bring.

Teen Texting, Cable Ads, and Adult Credibility

And that’s my point. The overuse of exclamation marks is the stuff of teenage texting (“Oh my God, I love Brian so much—he is so AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!”) and late-night cable TV sales pitches (“Order by midnight tonight!!! and we’ll throw in the all-in-one veggie slicer!!! for free!!!”) and not the path that anyone hoping to be taken seriously in the adult world should take (sorry, that goes double for an elected official).

The Passive-Aggressive Exclamation Point

Of course, when used sparingly and judiciously, the exclamation mark is justified and appropriate.

“Congratulations on your new baby!” Perfectly fine. As is the standard “Happy Birthday, you old bag!” And the “Wow, it’s about time you dumped that jerk!” Again, makes sense.

But beware the use of the Passive-Aggressive Exclamation Point, often used in a corporate email. Here’s one from the over-functioning office manager:

“It has come to the attention of management that several employees have been eating at their desks with no regard for proper garbage disposal, and as a result we have a serious infestation of rodents that will require a thorough cleaning service and the possible disruption of working conditions over the weekend.

“If you do not dispose of the waste on, around, or under your desk Friday at 3 p.m., it will be thrown out and you will be called into Human Resources.

“We expect this matter to be resolved soon and the offending employees punished.

“Thank you for your cooperation!”

Notice the bait-and-switch—“blah blah, you are all at fault and you better straighten up or else,” and then the phony “thank you!” at the end, meant to offset and sugarcoat the icky content of the email.

In other words, by using an exclamation mark at the end of “Thank you for your cooperation!” the office manager tries to end on a chipper note, implying, “Hey, I’m just trying to help you, I’m not the bad guy!” Yeah, right. Fuck you. No, fuck YOU! Ding!

“Thank You!” Has Lost All Meaning

I believe that the use of an exclamation mark after the word “Thanks!” is quite possibly the most annoying and blatant misuse of this particular application of punctuation. In fact, it ranks right up there with the use of smiley faces or people who send emails in quirky typefaces or use crazy-ass colors just because they think it’s amusing or distinguishes them (yeah, if you’re working your way up through clown school).

Here’s a typical example.

You send the following email to someone at work:

“Attached is the progress report for the third quarter. The company’s bottom line sucks and we will probably be going out of business by the end of the fiscal year.”

And the reply you get back: “THANKS!!!!”

Do we even read before responding? And when did everyone get so polite and so happy? The “Thanks!” has become so commonplace in an email that it has lost all meaning.

Our Online Selves Are Exhausting

Let’s face it. How thankful are we really? In the real world—not very. At least not to each other. Ask anyone how they are doing and once you get beyond the perfunctory “okay,” out comes a litany of complaints that will make your head spin: “This weather is killing me!” “OMG, these egg prices!” “My kids are on crack and all they want is more allowance money from me!” And on and on until you want to scream, “Thanks, but no thanks!”

Yet our online selves go to great lengths to appear thankful. We are like a bunch of Pilgrims who need to be on record with our appreciation and gratitude and perkiness. “Thanks for lunch! Great turkey dinner! You shouldn’t have! Thanks again!”

Next time you check your email, count the number of falsely enthusiastic thank-you’s. It will astound you.

The same goes for the implied emphasis! and enthusiasm! that an exclamation mark is meant to bring. Are we truly that happy and excited as much as we appear to be in our writing? When I was a kid, my dad used to say to me, “Look, you can’t be happy all the time. If you were, you’d be an idiot.” And yet we all buy into that village-idiot mentality, comforted by typing “Great!” and “You’re the best!” rather than face our often typically tedious, exclamation-free lives.

When an Exclamation Mark Is Actually Deserved

I’m not trying to sound jaded and negative; I like to think of myself as upbeat and relatively happy. If I have a great meal with good friends and meaningful conversation, if I see a moving play or hear a piece of music that brings me to tears, if I actually make it to the gym and work out for half an hour, or if I happen to get more than five hours of sleep a night, I experience that euphoric “Wow, life IS great!” feeling. It lasts for about five minutes, but I do experience it. And I would have to argue that the feeling in that moment warrants an exclamation mark. But the rest of the time—nah.

Confessions of a Recovering Punctuation Addict

I’m not saying I’m Little Miss Perfect. I admit I have a tendency to overuse question marks. And I’m working on that problem, as it does concern me. In fact, I’m worried that ??????s are the new !!!!!! As in “Are you kidding me????????” “What the f—???????” It’s a bit much, and it needs to be curbed.

I must also confess that, on occasion, I succumb to using the half-wink 😉 but only in isolated cases, and usually when I am too lazy to rewrite an email and I want the recipient to know that I was “only kidding” or that “I get what you’re saying—ha ha.”

This Is a Grammatical Mission

But getting back to the real culprit … it’s an uphill battle to rid the world of unnecessary !!!!!s.

I don’t care if I am making people self-conscious or if they hate me for pointing out how annoying or inappropriate their !!!!!s are. I keep hammering away because essentially I love words. I try to choose them carefully, and I can’t stand to see their meaning and intention destroyed or dressed up with a !.

It’s not a popularity contest. This is a grammatical mission: to take on the cause and rid the world of this affliction, one exclamation mark at a time.

If anything, people should say, “Thank you, Angela!” In that instance, maybe I’d accept it.

Happy New Year! *(appropriate use)

Angela LaGreca

Editor, Co-Founder/Publisher

Angela LaGreca, Editor-in-chief and co-Founder/Publisher of Spark Hamptons, is a four-time Emmy Award-winning journalist, producer, writer and comedian/host. Her TV credits include NBC’s “Today,” ABC’s “The View,” and, most recently, the primetime cable news program “Cuomo” on NewsNation. On the East End, she was the Creative Director at LTV, VP Features/Events/Photo Editor at Dan’s Papers, and has performed at Guild Hall, Bay Street Theater and the WHBPAC. Her publishing career began at Modern Photography, where she was managing editor. LaGreca lives in Manhattan and East Hampton and can be reached at angelatvmedia@gmail.com and angela@sparkhamptons.com .